Friday, April 02, 2010 @ 10:04 PM
It seems like this is the first time i feel lost.
in this relationship.
i don't dare to hope for anything anymore, from you.
just wished for your 'normal' self. i mean the past you.
whatever i said was not what i feel anymore.
if i said any discouraging things to you, i'm so sorry.
i know say it, i think you would bring back all the bad habits.
den i will start crying again.
it all turns into cycle. don't you realize?
so i rather i bluff you,fake it, hide my feelings just to get u being like now.
not pining any high hopes.....
like getting you quit smoking, stop returning home late, going drink frequent.
cause its all my ONE-SIDED wish.
i give up. i don't want to control you anymore. i don't want to ask about you anymore.
cause i'm stopping myself to be unhappy.
if i don't, i would be crazy soon.
maybe i'm the one causing you loads of stress.
yah. I'm just a fking, uncaring, unreasonable b!tch.
i would try my best to keep out of your ways.
i would won't do anything that will trouble you.
like controlling you. so you don't have to report to me.
i just wonder why last few days, i said i wont control you.
but in the end still ask about where you go lah.
cause i can't put it down.
so, i hope aft i write all this here, i can put all these down.
so now, i would be suppressing what i feel & nvr wan to reveal it anymore.
i dunoo who to talked to, i don't feel like talking about it too.
i dunoo how long this feeling/me would last. forever
whatever i did for you, i'm just crying bitterly behind....
could you feel what i feel?
could you do something about it rather than going worse?
i didn't know my love for you drive you worse.
COULD YOU STOP getting further away from me?
ytd's nite, i felt so heartbroken, but i dun dare to confront you.
i scared you feel sad and therefore, i rather feel the hurt alone.
i noe if i were to confront you, u would smoke!
cus your unhappy?
maybe you would wish to help me think what can i do when i feel so unhappy.
smoke too?
Things can be renew or changed but not restart.
