after shopping, i got some rest
and i went to find ca for dinner.
he is at pool with his fwens.
i went there & i hope i can mix with his fwens.
but somehow, i seems quiet.
i feel that i cant speak well in eng. & i m not sociable.
but there is a moment. they had a small smoke break.
and i became unhappy.
cause its all my fault that he smokes.
i realised that all his fwens were smoking.
if i were to be with him everytime when he meet his fwens
if i were there with him, everything wouldnt change.
but hais. from this, i knew.
one moment, one action, one word can change the world.

you and i were at a complicated situation.
you always think in that way negative.
i am scared of the history.
you are correct.
my thinking is super simple that i am not able to understand u.
we wouldnt be like before.
you weren't like that in the past.
i werent like this in the past.
thats why you had land yourself in a dilemma
i need to become stronger.
you didnt want to hurt me, i am the one hurting myself all along.
& i still feel jealous. even though u explained.